It was actually a smaller gathering than we’re used to. And a much higher adult-to-child ratio, too. Normally, when we’re hanging out in this particular backyard, we expect to see about 10-12 kids under 3 and maybe four or five adults. This time it was down to only seven kids, and a whopping six adults. We hardly knew what to do with ourselves. Ah, Memorial Day weekend with your twin mom friends.
Building a community and a support system is always important. You need people to talk to, people with whom you can share advice and stories and favors. But while I am certainly a big fan of getting to know people with a wide variety of experiences, I also think it is key to find birds of a feather. Full-time at-home moms need to find other full-time at-home moms. Working moms need other working moms. Homeschoolers need other homeschoolers. And twin moms need other twin moms.
While there are plenty of things that all moms have in common, there are most certainly different challenges (and joys) when you have multiples. So it’s key to have other people who understand you. Even if it’s in a virtual space like blogging, at least that’s something. But in person is even better.
What a difference from when we used to have “playdates” that involved babies asleep in carseats or bouncing around in the exersaucer. Now we’ve got a pack of toddlers who know each other’s names, steal fruit off of each other’s plates, and play interchangeably as though they were all siblings.
And the moms can hang out and marvel over how much easier it has gotten over the last two years. Because, tantrums aside, this is oh so much more fun.
We’ve survived breastfeeding (or not), first foods, sleeping through the night, shared viruses (ugh), and all the rest of it… times two. It’s nice to have people who have that shared understanding. We know the craziness, we know the fun. We are, perhaps as much by necessity as by personality, a fairly laid-back and practical bunch (just don’t get us started on people who keep their kids up too late or don’t have a nap schedule). We get each other. And that’s a mighty nice thing to have in your life.